Week 3: Purpose Looks Different Now. How Caregiving Broke Me Open—and Showed Me I Was Right Where I Was Meant to Be

I used to think purpose had to be bold, clear, and structured. After 30 years in the Army, I was used to knowing my mission. I had direction, deadlines, and the pride that came with seeing something through. But caregiving? It didn’t come with a rank. It didn’t follow a plan.

And yet, it has become the most meaningful mission of my life.

The truth is—caregiving broke me open. Not just physically from exhaustion or emotionally from watching my loved ones decline. It broke me open spiritually. It cracked me wide enough to feel everything: the fear, the frustration, the grief—and most unexpectedly, the joy.

I never expected joy to show up here. But it did.

It showed up when Clint got up out of his chair to dance to some great Disco music or R&B songs we both grew up listening and dancing to even though he couldn’t articulate or communicate verbally. It showed up in the small smile Mom gave me when I took her to Cracker Barrel to eat but then always ended up walking by the (sparkly) jewelry for her to buy another pair of earrings, even on days she couldn’t walk as sturdy and needed her walker. It showed up at church with Clint tapping to the sound of the music and momma seeing the son she remembered.

In those moments, something settled in my soul.

This was it.
This was purpose.
Not loud, not perfect, but deeply present.

I used to measure fulfillment by results—how much I accomplished or how far I climbed. But caregiving taught me a different kind of success: being still long enough to listen, staying soft when life felt hard, and celebrating wins no one else sees.

And those moments of joy? They were proof.
Proof that I was right where I was meant to be.

Caregiving reshaped how I see purpose. It’s not about doing more—it’s about being fully there for the people who need you most. And if you're reading this and feeling broken open too, please know that’s not weakness. That’s where your purpose begins to bloom.

My purpose now that my caregiving days are currently behind me is to bring awareness of the challenges that family caregivers live with daily. It is my hope that my book, I Am Their Voice, finds a worldly reach to encourage and assist other caregivers. It is also my purpose to educate and advocate for higher standards of care in nursing homes and more resources for families. If you’ve read my book, please leave a review on Amazon to provide other readers a peek into the content, what resonated most with you, and share the resources provided in the book.