Week-2: The Seasons of Caregiving - Tackling Summer
“We don’t rise to the level of our goals; we fall to the level of our systems.”
– James Clear, author of Atomic Habits.
In James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones (which I highly recommend everyone reading), he provides a clear understanding of what systems are. They are the combination of our daily actions (habits), routines, and processes. It is the daily actions we take that determine if or when we reach our goals.
In the heat of a “caregiving” Summer, having good systems in place will take away a lot of frustrations and, actually encourage motivation to keep moving forward. With all the demands placed on the caregiver, routines/systems will be the roots of your endurance.
Caring for my -then- 57-year-old brother that had lost his ability to verbally communicate, his peripheral vision, and the overall ability to physically care for himself, I quickly established a daily routine that would encourage some sense of sanity for me, and an expectation for him. This routine started before I went to bed at night:
1. I cleaned the bathroom after bathing him then laid out his clothes for the next day.
2. I cleaned the kitchen and set up the coffee pot and cups (tea for mom) for when I would wake the next morning.
3. I straightened up the apartment and laid out my own clothes for the next day.
Prepping the night before allowed my morning to go a lot smoother and without having to “think” about what needed to be done when I woke up. Everything was ready for me to pick up and go.
Anyone can apply this process, whether you’re a caregiver, a new parent or parent of three. I remember when I had my first child and coming to terms with this huge responsibility of caring for another human being. It was no longer just me and my husband! We had an infant that needed us; she depended on us. I needed to set expectations for myself as well as for this little girl. I needed to set my day up for success to keep my sanity and I needed to build trust with her. I wanted her to know that not only was I her mom and he was her dad, but we were people that she could feel safe with and trusted that we would take care of her.
Caring for another person, child or adult, is more about them trusting that the person caring for them is going to protect them and keep them safe. That includes providing a safe, clean environment for them to live and stay healthy in. When raising children I learned it was my responsibility to not only teach them the importance of a loving environment, but also teach them the importance of keeping a healthy, clean environment. It reduces exposure to toxins, promotes mental health, and encourages physical activity. It also teaches them responsibility, builds lifelong habits, fosters accountability, and develops respect for shared spaces. One day they will need to take care of the parent. When that day came for my mom and my older brother, it was my desire to provide that clean, safe space for them.
Establishing systems today will set your tomorrow up for success.
